सफर Retirement तक का

कल से सुबह का अलार्म  अलग होगा

और दोपहर का खाना हमेशा घर पे होगा

कल  से थोड़ी मुक्ति महसूस होगी

लेकिन बोरियत भी ज़रूर होगी।

अनेक भावनाओं  के एहसास होंगे

थोड़ी ख़ुशी और थोड़ा गम होगा

मम्मी के लिए थोड़ा मुश्किल होगा

क्योंकि  छुप छुप के दरवाज़े पे चद्दर और शॉल  नहीं खरीद पायेगी

अब बरतन-वाली से झगड़ा भी कम कर पायेगी।

अब पापा घर पर ज़्यादा होंगे

घर पर खटर खुटर भी ज़्यादा  

होंगे क्योंकि शांति से बैठते नहीं वो

शौक के नाम पे कभी इलेक्ट्रिकल

तो कभी कारपेंटनरी या गार्डनिंग में  व्यस्त रहते वो।

सफर को थोड़ा पीछे लेते हैं  

एक वक़्त तथा जब तीन शिफ्ट में काम करते थे पापा  

तब सुबह वाली शिफ्ट में

पूरी शाम आपके  घर पे होने का डर लगता था

और दिन वाली शिफ्ट के अंत  में

रात को गेट कौन खोलेगा उसका नंबर हम तीनों में लग जाता था

रात की शिफ्ट सबसे मज़ेदार रहते थे

कभी मम्मी भूत क किस्से सुनाती

और फिर हम बजरंगबली का लॉकेट पकर के सोते थे

तो कभी पापा ठंड  में निकलने से पहले

मंकी टोपी और दस्ताने में हमे डराते थे।  

गर्मी की छुट्टियों में हर शिफ्ट के अलग मज़े थे

मम्मी को बेहला के कभी सुबह धुप में खेलने को मिलता था

और कभी देर शाम दोस्तों के साथ रहने का  

क्योंकि मुझे तो हमेशा मम्मी से ज्यादा पापा से डर लगता था।   

हर त्यौहार में नये कपड़े नहीं मिलते थे

तो थोड़ा अजीब सा लगता था

क्योंकि उस वक़्त सस्ती सब्ज़ी खरीदना और

महँगा स्कूल भेजना आम लगता था

खुद के लिए कुछ ना लेकर

परिवार की ज़रुरत को पूरा किया है

कहीं न कहीं मम्मी पापा के मेहनत  और त्याग

ने आज हम तीनों को इतना बड़ा कर दिया है।   

पापा की नौकरी ने हमे बहुत कुछ दिया है

साइकिल से स्कूटर और स्कूटर से कार वाला बना दिया है

छोटे से कमरे वाले घर को बड़ा कर दिया है

ब्लैक एंड वाइट टीवी को कलर कर दिया है

महंगे स्कूल और कॉलेज में पढ़ने का मौका दिया है

ये स्टील प्लांट इस परिवार का हिस्सा सा बन गया है।

ये समझ नहीं आ रहा की

पापा मम्मी को बढ़ाईयां दूँ

या प्लांट को दिलासा

क्योंकि एक अच्छा कर्मचारी  जा तो रहा है

लेकिन 37 साल  के बाद अब आराम का वक़्त भी आ गया है।  

इतना कुछ कहने को है आज

लेकिन इस कविता की पंक्तियाँ काम पड़ रही हैं

क्या करूँ कभी मम्मी पापा को उनके त्याग  के लिए धन्यवाद दिया नहीं

क्योंकि इस  दिखावे की ज़रुरत कभी लगी नहीं

आज सब के साथ ना होने का गम हमेशा रहेगा

लेकिन ख़ुशी है की आज परिवार  के बाकी सब साथ खुश होंगे।

-- प्रियंका

-- 22-09-2018

Hey Stop!!!

Hey stop! don’t come out
In open everywhere 

You know u r symbol of weakness and fear

Hey stop! Because u make me terrible

At times soft and at times evil

At times you are forced back

Getting collected making a pool

Desperate to ooze out

But scared of the people around

As it is not so cool

I remember those childhood days

You only reached my eyes

Either when bruised or in pain

Or when parents scoldings seemed insane

The days when exams were the biggest worries

And I had no clue of emotional pain

When no one asked you to stop 

But many came ahead to wipe you out

Now the bruises never hurt

Though there is lot of pain

The physical pain doesn’t matter

Emotional brings you out anywhere

Then there are the sleepless nights

When You make the pillow wet

And facing the mirror next morning

In itself is another big fight

Solitude feels like the best tissue

Coz talking it out feels like an issue

Those friends and family are missed

Who are totally unaware of all this

I like to be a convincing liar at times

Because I can blame the dusts or cold

I like the trending addiction to phone

Coz I can leave the crowd 

And shed you where I am alone

Hey stop! You foolish tear

Don’t come out here and there 

You diminish my strong women persona

Making me vulnerable in the arena

Hey stop! Because crying is not a solution

And there is always another option.

-Priyanka 

Smile that means the World

When facebook was new 

And your sister turned two

I posted my first note for her

To read and treasure when she grows up

But you are already three

And have nothing written from me

So that noone calls me biased Maasi

Here is my tiny token of love

For the only nephew I have

I still remember when I first saw you

Like every other infant I was scared of you too

But then you gave a toothless smile to me

As I picked and looked at you closely

We then met after more than a year

And I was forgotten it was clear

I restarted building the relationship

By showering you with many gifts

Once again it was your smile 

Which made a mark in my memory

This time with one tooth in front

And a lot of gaps around 

We met again in couple of months

Your smile changed to laughter and giggles

The house went quiet when you left 

Those giggles still brings smile to my face

A year later you grew up some more 

And could join us in the games outdoor

Your smile was still precious as ever

Something which I will always treasure

As you turn three today

I would just pray

That whether three, thirty three or hundred and three 

Smile and spread the smile 

Coz its one thing available for free

 

Going Fearless

Fear is something which holds you back from some exciting things in life. Overcoming that fear enhances your self confidence and brings in the feeling of pride.

A mountain always calls you back. Two weekends and no climb on any mountain made her miss the action so much that she decided to go for the only trek available for the weekend in spite of its difficulty level being tough on the website. She was a bit skeptical not with the difficulty level but with the adventures included in the trek. So, when she decided to give a chance to these adventures she got a lump in her heart as all these actions were going to happen at some peaks and height had always scared her off. Scared to an extent that riding on a ropeway with 10 people in the cable car was also something which she hated and always prayed for its in-existence in any trip. 9 treks including a Himalayan one in the past 6 months had however reduced the level of fear and looking from the top of a high rise building or a mountain peak was not a big thing anymore. However jumping off the cliff for a Bungee or hanging in air for a paraglide was still something she could never think of. The feeling of being in air with nothing around herself raised the fear hormone that made her scream her heart out.

So the trek she decided to go for included three activities: rock climbing, flying fox, rappelling. All the three were new for her and trying out new things was something that she always loved but trying them at a height of 4000 feet was not that she had wished for. With all these skepticism, inhibitions, you tube searches of these adventures and multiple second thoughts she finally packed her bag to leave on Friday night for boarding the bus from Dadar. The trek organizers Trek Mates India along with Adventure India where conducting this trek to Alang-Madan Fort which is supposedly one of the toughest in Sahayadris because of its rocky terrain and narrow paths to the top. Alang-Madangad-Kulang are three forts next to each other in the Nashik district in Maharashtra.

She reached Dadar expecting at least one known face as this was her 11th trip with TMI and sighting an old face from other previous trek was like a ritual. To her surprise, this time it was neither the TMI lead nor any of the participants whom she had ever met. Being fearless of the people she started her journey with 28 unknown faces and few chats with couple of them. The night went by with a sound sleep in the bus. Thanks to her stay in the hostels and sharing apartments, she could sleep anywhere and any decibel of sound or any luminosity of light could dare disturb her. With the morning light and a wakeup call by a fellow trekker she got up to the sunshine and 28 men in Ambewadi village somewhere in Nashik. 

Yes, for the first time in my trekking history I was the only female amongst the group of unknown men. This did not scare me but I was a bit confused as to whom to go for the girl-related queries(as you don't get a luxurious loo or a proper changing room on a trek and a co-female trekker is always a help). Since there was no option other than continuing the journey I marched forward leaving everything to the time.

The trek started with the usual breakfast of poha and added icing in the form of bread-butter-jam combo. Post filling our stomach with food and the bottles with water I along with the group began our journey towards the Madan fort. Starting with a plain terrain Johnny, the guide from Adventure India took us to the top of the Madan fort, en route which we found the slopes and the huge rocks; the jungle route where the branches and leaves hindered the steady speed; the narrow trail all around the Madan peak where the carabiner on our harness attached to the rope fixed to the mountain boosted our confidence. After a long walk and few rest breaks we reached the so-called top from where the rock climbing was to start. This rock climbing was a must do to reach the top. Being the first attempt at rock climbing, my confidence level was low but I wasn't  scared as going up you don't get to see the height exactly. However when I started, I found pulling myself up the rocks wasn't easy as I was unable to find the proper grips. With the help of the support team who were pulling the knotted rope, and with a lot effort I managed to reach the top. Post reaching the top we got to see the flying fox spot. With just the look of it I was like ‘OMG. I can’t do this!’.

Even the thought of hanging in the air was scaring the shit out of me. Flying fox was actually a way to travel from Madan Fort to Alang fort and skipping this meant getting down the Madan fort and climbing the Alang fort, consuming lot of time and effort. So, giving this a shot was an only option. Since the plan was to first explore the Madan Fort top, followed by lunch and post that flying fox, I decided to not think of it till the flying fox activity actually begins. 

The view from the fort was both beautiful and peaceful. One could see many forts like Ratangad, Harishchandragad, Kulam, Alang etc from this peak. Once everyone reached the top, we all had the lunch that was cooked at Alang and had been flown to us via the flying fox rope. The lunch was a treat as none of us expected it to be that delicious. Post lunch came the time to march towards the flying fox location. While in the queue I noted that the average time a person was in the air was 15 seconds with no stops. Even the short time could not make me get rid of the fear. After 12-13 people traversed to the other end, came my turn. I pleaded and threatened(literally!) the support team to make me travel the distance in minimal time. In spite of all this effort they made it sure that I be in the air for maximum time and stopped me thrice on the way. Though I am not sure for their reason behind this, and even though I screamed like hell, I thoroughly enjoyed it. Definitely the three stops gave me an awesome view and helped me in overcoming the fear of height to an extent. While till a day before I couldn't even think of flying fox, today I not only desire to try it again but I also want to give a shot to Bungee, skydive and paraglide sometime in future.

After the eventful and happening day, at night we set up our beds in the cave at Alang fort. While waiting for the dinner to be ready, some of the guys started playing Bluff, me along with others decided to chit chat outside the cave in the moonlight. The chats soon became the horror story sharing session with few personal experiences and many anecdotes. The dinner buffet was served with a menu that included Gulab Jamuns. What else does a person like me having a sweet-tooth wants!!! This time the food was not only delicious, it was plate-licking. The night came in and we all slept among the noises of the farts and the snores, not to forget the uneven floor of the cave that massaged the backs. Between all these actions I forgot to attend to nature's call and had decided to sneak in the night for the same. But the tiring day did not let me move out of my sheet and finally I got up in the morning. I got out of the cave thinking where to pee in the daylight. Thankfully, it was still dark outside and the cook who was a female came to my help in guarding my area.

Post breakfast, we all left for the end of the fort from where we rappelled down to reach the mid height of the mountain. Though I was scared before rappelling as well, it turned out to be fun. From this point we walked back to our base village where we were once again served with a tasty lunch. While the weekend was about to end and only a last bus journey back to Mumbai was ahead, I was full of smiles deep down in my heart as for me it was an experience of attempting an unexpected situation. 

With the group having a mix bag of different age groups ranging from 12 to 46, few singers who entertained us throughout, few talented photographers who never got irritated by the posing friends, a guy whose speaker was a boon while descending, a Snake rescuer, a dedicated team of Adventure India, a skilled cook and many enthusiastic people, the whole weekend was definitely a total fun; food and fear being the highlight. A memorable experience for I have started planning for adventures which I never even dreamt of thinking. I can go anywhere and everywhere, go solo and go fearless!!!

Faith in Strength

I still remember that year's June
When I was left all alone,
By someone with whom I had seen the future
Accepting the rejection I felt like a loser.

My roommate came to my rescue
But at that moment I had no clue
On how to survive without him
As all the days and nights were dim.

Then came a day when I saw
Those tearful eyes and wet pillow
I decided to move on
And do things that makes me grow.

With this I opened my bucket list
And pondered on them for a while.
Decision was made to start ticking them off
As we never know when life ends and we die.

I started with joining the gym
And going for the weekend runs.
This followed the swimming classes.
Grape stomping at Wine fest was total fun

While I loved walking on the beach at Gokarna
On a trip with unknowns to Jog Falls.
The palaces, forts, food and desert camp
In Rajasthan with friends was a different game ball

I set a target of reading 12 books for 2014
Which eventually reached to the number seventeen.
My runs continued and I finished my first half marathon
That too when I reached twenty nine years and day one.

Tried tapping on the tunes of Salsa,
At Velas watched the turtles hatching,
Crossed the 21 obstacles at mud rush,
Thoroughly enjoyed the experiments while cooking.

After the first trek in April 2015, a target was set then
To make the count of trek to ten
Come October and the target is complete
With 9 in Sahyadris and 1 in Himalayan heaven

Made new friends while trekking
Fought with fear in Rock climbing and rappelling
I screamed in flying fox in front of the masses
Loved the formations in yoga classes

I have realized with him I was weak
Today I am stronger and can proudly speak
Many Thanks for moving out
I am left with no doubt
Everything happens for better and best
I would wish to have all my faith
In someone who is not my weakness, but my strength.

27 Roomies Old

At the age of fifteen when my parents where leaving me, my brother and my granny alone at home to get my sister treated at some hospital in a different city, I was full of tears. I still remember that day when I was about to leave for school and my parents had to rush to catch the train in an hour. This was the first time that I had to stay without my parents. I was really sad and cursing God for bringing such  a moment in my life. Having grown in a small city with few colleges nearby, I always knew I had to move out after school for graduation. But at fifteen I was not prepared. Come eighteen and it was as if I was waiting for it. After getting through the admission process for the college, when I was finally leaving home for the first time I was more than happy to place my foot in the world of freedom without any restrictions. 

However within a month I saw myself crying alone and talking to myself. The reason being I was missing home viz missing giving the daily recap of school to my siblings, missing the delicious food, missing the evening snacks with my dad, missing the walks to the nearby stores with mom, and many many more things. The things I missed increased exponentially till the time I realized that those days are never going to come back. Fortunately I wasn't the only missing home, infact it was many of us  having the same feeling, all those who came from different cities. Probably this feeling of being alone brought us all together and within months I found a new family. A family where there were no parents, no siblings, but there were rommates, mates who not only shared the room but also with whom I shared  stories,  gave and took advices, got scolded together, literally LOLed and ROFLed and mutually cared for.  

Since then and till now every couple of years room changed, roommates changed, city changed, but one thing remained unchanged. There was always a roommate to give you company and advice when you needed it most. With time when laugh become LOL, roommates become roomies and flatmates became flammies. Personally I prefer calling them roomies (sounds chic ;)). All these roomies have taught me something or the other. While one taught me to cook, another one to paint the nails; one took me for the first threading experience, there was another one who taught me how to apply lipstick; with one I learnt how to handle myself and with other how to handle others, and the list goes on and on.

The journey started with sharing a four bedded hostel room with bunks. The room where all four of us managed to squeeze in one bed post one of the exam. The room where we were smiling and shaking and pretending to be in sleep under our sheets one late night while the warden was on rounds. The room where we carefully listened to the detailed story of a bollywood movie from one of us. The room where we studied together a day before exam. The room where we decided to go and have a chocolate sundae(yes, 'A'  chocolate sundae shared by 4 of us, considering we were not earning then) at the canteen.

While hostel life was fun, moving to a a new city for work was challenging. It started with sharing a shady room in a hotel (as me and a friend of mine were unaware of the big city tantrums) to a PG (paying guest) and finally to an apartment in the mid of the city. This was the time when it was me, my college friend, a school friend of mine and her college friend who started living together and  eventualy turned into roomies. We all had great time together from setting up the kitchen to cooking food together, from having house parties and preparing for the entrances to the arguments on silly matters. That apartment still brings a nostalgic feeling whenever I am anywhere close to it. I still remember the day when I left that apartment and the roommates to move to another city. I was anxious if I would get similar friendly people to accompany me and if I would be able to adjust with the unknown people in the new city. 

Fortunately I found some really nice people with whom the journey in the new city became smooth. These were the people with whom I discovered my interest in cooking and traveling. With them and many other roommates in future, the journey has been so far so good. They have been a critic when I was wrong, advisor when I was in dilemma, encourager who pushed me towards my dreams, care-taker when I was sick, and a listener when I wanted to speak out my heart. With them I have learnt to be patient and how not to panic in situations. With them I have enjoyed everything from bargaining at street shopping to buying an expensive outfit, from eating the junk to trying out new recipes, from bitching to praising, from being pure vegetarian to a non vegetarian, from reading all night to chatting all night, from clicking to getting clicked, from cola to shots and what not.

Sharing space with 27 roommates(no surety on the number's authenticity) in past 11 years at 5 different cities has been an experience. An experience full of numerous gossips and few quarrels. An experience to live with people belonging to different regions with different languages and different cuisines. An experience which has made me an individual who can adjust with anyone and at any place. An experience that has taught me that  no matter how much a person is liked or disliked by others, every individual has something good in them and there is always a scope of getting to learn something from them.  I have been fortunate to find many of such people and I have  had a great time with each of them.

Cheers to all my roomies!!!

The Poet inside me :P

From the archives:

YOU and ME!!!

A sweet November

Is a popular movie

And as far as I remember

That season it was not so chilly

With all my packed suitcases

I was ready to visit home

And then in those staircases

We came closer and close

A couple of weeks of confusion

Few chats and some discussions

I found that I was in love

This made me feel like a flying dove

I finally got a rose with red petals

On this very day of mine

Once again you made me feel special

With a surprise Thai dinner and a glass of wine

With those walks in the Bos park

And the movies in the dark

Those meals at Peking City

The trips to different European cities

Our bonding became stronger and stronger

And I could not think of life without you any longer

Red was my dress

The dinner was to raise

A toast to the time

That cannot be measured in dollars or dime

Never will I forget

Your gift for me, to celebrate

A year of togetherness

That video clip treated me like a princess

The year just flew by

You were always my standby

With maggie and the soup

Whether I was alone or in a group

There have been many fights

And few tearful nights

But I am happy I am with you

Who always motivates me to be true

There are many golden moments

And loads of special ones

With you every day has been golden

Just forget about the broken ones.

You always bring me a smile

That’s the reason I want to go with you for miles

Don’t forget that it was you

Who encouraged me to pursue my interest in

Writing, in which I had interest

But seriously I had no clue

That this one will be so long, it might not be the best!!! 

-Priyanka